Fear of losing you



Lincoln, Nebraska.

12:21 AM

Sometimes, I feel like I have lost you inch by inch.

Each time you speak or write, I am always afraid that I will find the fact there is too much difference between us that is not meant to be together. Threads that do not cross one another.

And that you do not want to unite those threads because it will require too much effort, too much time, in the end.

All will came to nothing. Your heart keeps telling you that. And I feel you that way.

The rational side of you that does not want to get entangled by the unattainable future of our histories.

Human is born with a religion and geographical area. And, most people stick to that box until life ends.

But, will it be wasted? How do you know when you even already give up on your first step?

But tonight, once again, I have to keep on saying to my self for several times: Let him go. The one who does not know the value of fighting does not deserve a chance.

At first, I have a hope on this, as my very best friend finally got together with her husband after she decided to believe her own heart and intuition. But, I do not know about me.

It feels different with you. It feels, sometimes, so weak, the feeling. It seems, sometimes, so big, the fear.

It felt like waiting for my scholarship to arrive. I wanted to study at the New York University (NYU), but then I got accepted at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (UNL), which was the best thing that ever happened to me.

But what I always believe is that: God works in his mysterious and beautiful ways of anything, even of you.

_tam_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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