biografi, biography

New stars shed light on the past


This day was supposed to be my deadline day for all the three courses that I take during the Fall semester. It was supposed to be. Until I heard the news. Then, I got a discount, a postponed deadline for one of my courses from a professor, because of that matter.

In the States, I am used to talking and speak up about everything to professors lightheartedly. It is quite different from what students in Indonesia feel and experience towards the form of relation between students and professors. I still remembered how difficult at that time lobbying with a vice dean of a law department in one university in Central Java when I helped a student’s from a risk of drop-out.


I have to say again to myself, things happen because they are meant to exist. The sun sets, the sun shines, the snow that comes late in the United States, the falling of the leaves, the blue skies that turns into grey and silver, the chilling and freezing wind that blows in the summer, the kisses and the meet up of lovers and soulmates, the separation of unfitted two, the born of a baby and the lost of loved ones.

Bad or good is a perception, which only occurs in the mind of a person. The reality is eternal and round, or probably the reality actually goes linearly?

The linear dots of life incidents. Sometimes that line meets up with another line with thousand small dots along the way. Sometimes you walk in the same dot with another, however, most of the time you walk alone in your own dot.

In fact, you just an automatic machine, with a breath, feeling and mind, who have to constantly walk from one dot to another dot to another dot until the end. Or, there is no end? How do you know what you do not have knowledge about?

That is why I realize that overthinking is not a good thing. Because you could not change the things that are meant to happen. They are just meant to be there. Like two bright stars with the same masses colliding and merging into one, the happening of celestial fireworks in the universe, galactic objects that are sucked into a black hole or a creation of a Supernova, the explosion of a star.

The problem is things do not have mind and feeling. While the human is ‘blessed’ with the complex ability to feel and to think, which differs us from the rest of the living creatures. Those two things help us, motivate us, inspire us, move us but also in another moment, most of the time, they frustrate us, make us feel helpless, or overwhelm us if we cannot unite them to better perceive things that happen in life.

A human is a complex creature, but human is also a creature that can sense and decipher the invisible meaning if he or she is able to look beyond things and incidents. I believe in an unseen signal connected to the electrical energy wandering around the universe, a magnetic energy that causes the earth circles the sun or attracts things with the same tune and energy. A signal that can help us to see the big umbrella of the life itself.

However, one thing that I can say with all these emotions and feelings related thing that differs us as a human being: Screw up with all that-being-happy-all-the-time philosophy.  There is always a thing that you cannot control and it is a fake thing to be always happy all the time. Just get real and embrace that life does not always sugar and honey. And it does not mean that you are bad, or your life is bad. It is only how the way life is. There is something that you cannot control that can lead to the turbulence of your emotions, including pain, disappointment, anger, frustration or sadness. Enjoy the feeling but maintaining to be a functional human being. Look forward, see solutions and do something that makes you move and do not stop walking.

In the end, chaos will find its balance point again. As usual.

Ah, I started to become so philosophical, again. Do not read. This is crap.

But beyond this crappy and intricate writing, my prayer is always there for you.


Lincoln, Nebraska.

















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